A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "HAVE" AND "BE" <3

On my last blog post I received a wonderful feedback. I thank you for that!!!

It was not just about the fact, that I had the generous chance to present my work in the magazine “Lideranço no feminino” as a supplement in the newspaper Público. Most importantly, practitioners and I, we opened up a conversation about the deeply personal meaning of our Ashtanga Yoga practice and its connection to daily life. 

Specifically, there’s this one respond, that touched me. 

In this blog post, you’ll find the eMail from Beatriz. There was just no other way to share it originally. In respect and agreement with her, I changed the name. 

In her eMail Beatriz shared with me so beautifully, honestly and purely her daily life. This alone is precious and makes me feel honoured, that she allows me in her life. 

Because, I believe so strongly in the beauty and power of ordinary daily life, of the little priceless moments of human connection among family, friends and encounters. So I also trust, that the practice of Ashtanga Yoga is directly linked to it. 


Life and Ashtanga Yoga are inseparable for me.


Besides of the many unique reasons why we engage with this practice of Ashtanga Yoga, I’ve come to experience that, through it you’ll be able to become strong in diving into your vulnerability. Strong enough, to transcend it into courage and connect purely with yourself, hence with others and play your roles not functional but rather with intention and meaning, love and care. 


I suppose, it reveals a significant difference between “have” and “be”. 


What you “have” and “do” in your life, doesn’t define you. It’s about how you engage with it. The way you act, where your action comes from and what you intend to contribute with it. 

In Beatriz’s eMail it becomes clear, in my opinion. Even though she writes, she doesn’t have much courage, I think, she represents a force of courage - in her intentions for herself, in the way she lives through her daily life, in the effort she takes care of her to be her best, contributes and serves others. 

Last but not least, I’d love to thank Nuno Filipe from Ashtanga Yoga Carcavelos, because he gets mentioned in Beatriz’s eMail too. You do so greatly. I appreciate your generosity and gentleness and clarity in your teachings. Beatriz said, she trusted me in my recommendation and you earned her trust too. It means a lot to me, because Im aware of the responsibility of teaching. Not only Ashtanga Yoga. Any teachings. Teaching is sacred! So thank YOU! Deeply grateful! 

Finally, I invite you take some of your precious time and read the eMail through. There’s so much shared wisdom, grace and humility. 

THANK YOU BEATRIZ!!! 

 

Hi

This is going to be a difficult email to write because English is not my “natural” language. Or I’m just apologise myself because I’m insecure about writing in English, as I am insecure about a lot of things in my live.
 
The context: I am 45 (almost, just a few days). I am a mother, not single, of a beautiful and supporting boy of 12 years old. And I am a working person, 8h30 to 17h, every day with 3h of commuting time. I do Ashtanga yoga twice a week most weeks, 1 time sometimes, have breaks and come back to Asthang again, lay my mat, take a deep breath and start again. From the beginning if I need it.
 
The why: some time ago I went to a workshop with you. I was the only one. I liked but I didn’t have the time to attend your classes. I was sad because of that. But then you told me about Nuno, a professor who could have a more flexible schedule for me, with later hours. I never had a men as a professor, I was a little bit concern about it. But I believed in you and I contact him and now I attend his classes. So, thank you.
 
Reading you story I can imagine the courage you needed to take that step. In fact, I can only imagine a fraction of that courage. Probably I don’t have and never had that kind of courage. So I take what I can, wake up every day, kiss my boy goodbye each morning, fix dinner, read a story because he likes it, try my best to be a good mother, pass good examples, a good wife to my very supporting husband, do my work at office the best I can and not stress a lot. This is my battle every day. Everybody have some kind of battle going on.
 
Who do I want to become? Myself, I guess. To be honest in my examples and attitudes, to be honest to myself and to find room inside me. If I can be this every day, this will be my legacy. I think it’s enough.
 
Love,
 
Beatriz

 

Through my work, Im humbled to meet such extra-ordinary people. 

I trust, you do so well in your life too. Remember yourself of it every new dawn! Count your blessings and make an ordinary day worth your breath! 

When you feel encouraged to share some insights of your story and how Ashtanga Yoga’s helped you along the way, let us know in the comments below! There’s the chance, you may touch and inspire someone else too. ONE is good enough to have a lasting impact

Or simply like this post, when you like it. 

In the meantime, I’ll see you on the mat. My teaching commitments are here! When you’d like to reach out personally, just drop me a line: roomformyself@gmail.com. Always glad, to hear from you! 

Be good to yourself! Happy Spring!  

With SOOOO MUCH GRATITUDE!

Your Stef

P.S.: When you think your friend needs to read this or may want to make "room for myself" then please feel free to share this. I appreciate it. 

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IT'S REAL-TIME

First month of 2017 is finished. Wow! Time flies. Again so fast. I notice. 

January is a month filled with learnings. Learnings from inspiring people far away from Portugal. Coaches, teachers, bloggers, that share inspiring content, knowledge and give their support globally. 

On a side note: Tim Ferriss’ latest book “Tools of Titans” is out.

I dig deep and work something out for myself. Tools, to move through my days structured, organised and fore-shadowed. Just as an example. 

Living the freedom to structure my daily life means a lot to me. A room, that is well formed yet fluid enough to adapt to changes while I can feel still steady. Actually, it helps me to make more room for presence. 

Presence for moments of experience. They count. They stay with me. Because I feel. 
Like these ones.

When I sit down, with a group of women. We call us the Transition Support Group. Coach Alison and I work on an approach to bring coaching tools and Yoga together, creating a broader spectrum for engaging with life’s and cultural changes. In this group, we also share, how we feel right now in our lives. I mean, the stripped down straight forward feelings. They are spoken still with soft and shy voices. But we all feel heard. 

My first experience climbing up the rock. Im on a rope and put my heart into the hands of a fellow, that belays me. I look up the rock taking my first step and knowing "I can do this". I love the group of people. Most of us are brand new to each other. And yet, we connect through excitement, support and accomplishment supporting each other.

Lately, my son Zion has been expressing his anger in many ways. We are home. In our sacred place of comfort and safety, trust and love. He kicks his toys, stamps with his feed, bangs doors, makes an angry face looking at me saying “Ich bin stink sauer”. Something like, Im so upset I can’t even tell you how much I am. Im looking back to him. My heart is soft and open, saying "Im seeing you, Zion. Im here for you”, while figuring out a way, how I can help him best to orientate himself in the vast space of emotions. 

Moving on with a dear student after Xmas break, she brings up tears in her practice. It’s ok. We don’t speak. She is sharing her tears. With herself. With me. We connect.

Yesterday my friend Gaya and I talk through structural stuff of our work. About foundation. After hours of discussing, forming, reforming, we look at each other. Gaya asks me:  “How can I reach you?” “How will you allow me to open up?" "How can I allow myself to let you in my world?”. 

We have said these words hundred times before and then it dawns on us - through connection.
These moments - within the Support Group, while taking my first rock climb, being present for my son, my student - are moments of connections.

That’s the kind of foundation we need. Connectivity. Everything else, tools, structure, communication, work - we build with it. Then, trust unfolds. 

After our conversation, we come across the latest article from Sharath Jois, the current lineage holder of Ashtanga Yoga. Sharath explains the intercorrelation of Ashtanga Yoga, real life and the importance of a good teacher. 

Ashtanga yoga is a way of living. Without a sound structure and foundation the building won’t be strong.
— Sharath Jois

Sharath goes on with emphazising how important it is to connect with a teacher in order to experience real Yoga, hence real life. 

It is my hope that everyone experiences for themselves real yoga.
— Sharath Jois

Gaya and I, we feel great day. Touched. Connected. There it is. All said by Sharath, what we have just discussed. 

On top of all of the insights about the experience of real life - so to say - in my mind, I'm now referring back to time.  It's always this feeling, I have : "Time flies". While I'm trying to take the hopelessness out of "Time flies" with saying to myself, that's all a matter of perspective, Seth Godin's daily journal post appears in my eMail inbox - and he does put time into perspective. He writes: 

Time is running out for you to become the person you’ve decided to be, to make the difference you seek to make, to produce the work you know you’re capable of
— Seth Godin

So, Im trying to get it all together. connection, experience, real life and time. 

Create and build life. Real life! On a strong foundation.
Through connecting with myself and others and ultimately trust unfolds. 
In all aspects of life - experience it. feel it. love it
Now! Time is limited.