ROOM FOR MYSELF

Room For Myself. 

Moments, when I barely breathe. a moment of emptiness. black out. no chance for me to protect myself, nor stand up for myself nor put limits. 

Moments, when my heart beats so strong and fast, I cannot inhale neither exhale as fast. 

Moments so stressed, when I freak out and scream. 

Moments of anger and loosing ground.

Moments of fear and anxiety.

Moments when resistance is fighting me inside hard. even when I do my best, letting go seems impossible. opening my hand held tight to a fist…. 

Moments of fear instead of faith.

Moments of fear instead of courage.

Moments of shame instead of self-respect.

Moments of hurt and insult instead of self-love.

When I cannot understand yet my action. when I become aware, that I have gone through the same cycle again. one that does not do me any good.  

All the questions of why and how. Of who am I and what am I supposed to do. What does it mean - the true essence of myself? how does it feel? how does it express? How to be?

Room For Myself is not only the space in the present apparent comfort zone. It is not only a time-out on a deserted beach. That's kinda easy. 

It is the room, where I learn to look inside myself. Truly. Deeply. Safely. The room, where I cry, fight, hate; where I observe, contemplate, accept; where I laugh, enjoy and joke. 

With myself, about myself. 

Brutality and beauty of life likewise. 

Human being. I am.  
Learning to be gently and kind and respectful with myself. 
No matter what. and becoming my best friend.

Room For Myself.