Ok, one more vacay story. 🖖
It's about fear.
Because I feel it. Because I hear the word in my work. Because I see it in daily life. OFTEN.
In hope, it takes you out of your comfort zone into the life you so want, here's my latest take on fear.
First, the story.
My son Zion, six, is a water ninja, as his surf teacher Lourenço likes to say. Familiar with sea and Atlantic ocean water, he still needs to overcome some fears.
Like this one: Zion was scared to jump from the base.
Every day in our holidays, he'd say I'm gonna jump on my birthday. Which was a couple of days to go.
Just one day before his anniversary, Zion firmly stated: today I'm gonna jump. I kneed down, looked into his eyes, and confirmed: you sound sure about it.
You must know that Zion's very competitive. All he wants is to succeed. Feeling weak is his weakness.
So I asked: Would you promise it to yourself?
Yes, yes, he nodded his head, I promise.
Off we took our walk down through the wood to the hidden calm lake. Arrived Zion withdrew and wept, there'd be no jumping today.
Mmmm, I replied. You promised it to yourself, didn't you? Then he busted out in fear and rage at the same time.
I could see him fighting inside, so I let him do what he needed to do; stumping the food, shouting, crying. Calmed down, he sat on the base turning the back to the water, lowering his head down into his knees, I came next to him to be close and caring.
After a while, Zion mumbled: I need help.
We went to the flat area of the water. I held out my hands, Zion took them, and on three, he jumped. Wow! His eyes turned to two shining stars.
Again, he shouted.
We walked further up the base to take the next jump. Again with help, Zion jumped. Done!
He got more confident and aimed to do the next one by himself.
In the deep water.
Slowly Zion walked up, stood there silently, and did this:
Putting his hands to prayer and speaking to himself this mantra several times.
"I am calm. I am brave."
He started to run and took the ---- leap.
Back on the shore, he screamed: I did it, I did it, I did it.
You can imagine from this day on, jumping was around the clock, down there in nature's beautiful lake.
The essence of this story? Marie Forleo'skeynote brings it to the point:
Fear is a GPS for where your soul most wants to go! 🔥
(I'm a freakin' Marie Forleo fan, and this nugget gives me goosebumps all the time. )
That's so right for me.
I'm going to break it down, how I see it here:
Fear's a valuable emotion. It deserves its present as any other feeling. That's why it'll be there with you anytime, anywhere in your life.
Embracing your fear within yourself and not with your rational thinking is vital for your forthgoing.
Ask yourself truthfully, whether the thing you so genuinely want to do is either expanding or contracting you.!Then follow, what expands you.
That will give fear the right spot along with your choices - on the back seat of your ride. Like, you're welcome, but you've got no vote.
Get help when you need it! I know from experience, that fear can reveal shame too. Which's often way stronger than the fear itself. Do seek for a mentor, coach, teacher, anyone who you want to trust and invest in your growth.
Create a mantra, belief, conviction. Like my son: I am calm. I am brave.
Take the leap!
"Test it, live it, experience it" (from the interview with Marie Forleo, Marie TV, 10 September 2019. Click here!).
You see, a regular Ashtanga practice can genuinely help you dealing with your fears. Because it directs you towards it, makes you feel them without judgment, helps you accept them, and then you move through them practice after practice with the sole help of your own.
You begin to collect positive experience with fear, which will level up your confidence from a place of appreciating yourself like nobody else. You begin to know your little quirks, and flaws and your talents and strength and all that stuff. With time and love.
The practice will proof you, that you're worthy of your Self, your space in this world, your purpose and dreams by teaching you who you are and what's your goal and what to do next. All with care and love and patience balanced with persistence, challenges and humiliation. Deep deep down in your soul.
Just a little bit of regular practice will do. Trust me!
Now, I'd love to hear from you!
What's the one thing you always wanted to do but feel scared to do? And which (even if it's just a tiny) step would you take now, to move closer and eventually leap?
Reply in the comments below, because I'd love love love to see you spark up!
I mean it.
Last but not least, thank you SO SO much for being here and reading and sharing. Appreciate it!
Always with love,
Your Stef ❤️
PS: Is there a friend, colleague, encounter, that may need some encouragement. Forward this blog post and send some extra love!